Maratona degli sportelli, or: how to go to a doctor in Valdagno. vol 1

This morning I took half a day off to go hunting for Papers. Namely, what I really would like to have is this little piece of plastic that allows me to go to a doctor here. I have put it off for 2 years, having seen only the emergency rooms in various occasions, so by now I'm sure some sinister illness will come along out of sheer probability. Better be prepared, then. "ULSS", that is Unità Locale Socio Sanitaria, or the social health insurance office, is an obscure network of districts, offices and suboffices, so obviously nothing will move fast there. I don't even dare to dream of an online portal such as xtee.ee where I log on to check if my university is still covering my medical costs or not, and I know from Liina's great experience in Germany that switching from one national system to the other is not a walk in the park even in countries where the bureaucracy is not notorious for making the people run from one office to another and end up where they started. Luugijooks, that's what I call it. Hatchmarathon.

My first attempt at the ULSS was fun, because I turned up with all my papers, having been informed at the municipality before that both employees and students of public universities have a right to health insurance, and the nice lady on the other side of the glass told me that this somehow does not apply to foreigners, even if enrolled in the university as regular students. Then I asked her if I would be able to use my Estonian international health insurance card to visit a doctor for a general check-up. After 20 minutes of phone calls (among which, YES!, the standard phone call to determine whether Estonia is in the EU or not) she informed me that this card would be perfectly valid for a tourist, but the fact that I'm a resident excludes me from the system. I must have looked so perplexed that she started to laugh and said the only way for me to get assistance is probably to pretend as though she never told me the last bit and hope I can pass with the foreign card all the same. And to come back when I have a job, so I could get an Italian card.


This morning I started off with three facts:
1. I'm properly registered as a resident of Valdagno;
2. I'm properly employed from mid-February;
3. as follows from points 1 and 2, I have the right to a national health insurance card.

8.00 sleep deeply. Will not have to be at work before 2 pm.
8.30 wake with a start. Car parked in the 1h area on the wrong side of the street. Last time the fine was 25 euro. Get up, go and repark the car.
9.00 breakfast. Sorting the documents. Sure that nothing can go wrong. Armed with a list of documents to be presented: the residence certificate, job contract, Id number, passport. A feeling of absolute certainty.
9.10 looking for a parking space in front of the hospital. No idea how many sick people drive cars in this tiny town. Could they all be inside that building?
9.20 waiting for the nice lady at the ULSS office.
9.30 presenting the documents. Still smiling. Unfortunately the residence certificate doesn't pass. They need another document altogether. The certificate of residence regularity for EU citizens, or something like that. Got to see the other, not-too-nice lady at the municipality registry office that has a degree in making people feel like they're beating their heads on a brick wall. The paper will cost 15 euros.
9.40 go home for a cookie. The Brick Wall Lady will need some courage. Check bank account. 10 euros. Of course, it's the 10th. I should get paid today or tomorrow. Rummage in the purse. 5 euros and red cents. Rummage in bags and jacket pockets. Find 10 euro in coins. Yes!
9.50 municipality office. Try first with another, friendlier-looking clerk. No. Got to see the Brick Wall Lady. Wait for the Brick Wall Lady.
10.00 Brick Wall Lady arrives. I explain my situation and present my humble papers. - Job contract? - Yes. - Salary sheets? - Huh? - She needs salary sheets in order to confirm that I'm really working. - Well, as she can see, it's a new contract, so I only have half a salary from February. - And March? - It's the 10th today, I'll have it today. - Go and get it then. - Signora, I work in Vicenza. It takes 2 hours to go and come back. - Come back next week when you have March. - Can't I present the one from February? - No, it doesn't make sense, it's already April. - Listen, signora, I took a morning off to be here, I can't do it every week. Is there nothing I can present today? - No. - What else do I need? - Job contract and a full copy of the passport. - All the pages? - Yes. - Even if they're empty? - Yes. - Anything else? - 30 euros. - Huh? - A stamp of 15 euros for each copy. And copies of the contract too. And the salary sheets. And fill this form. And it will take a month before the certificate is ready. Maybe more.

10.20 go home, feeling of having beaten the head on a brick wall. Until the next time then. Surely there's nothing else they can throw at me now. I wrote everything down. I'll have the salary sheet, and 30 euros along with it, and the copies.

Next time, nothing can go wrong.